Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I absolutely....

love Cheeseburgers. Just the thought of one dripping in cheese, grease and ketchup makes my mouth water. The feeling is mutual for chocolate as well.


TOO BAD I CAN"T EAT ANY OF THIS!!!! So sorry I had an outburst there, back to what I was saying... Yes sadly I can no longer eat these things - messes with the blood sugar. I never dreamed in a million years that I would have to deny my self my first two loves - Chocolate & cheeseburgers - how funny that they both start with C, for Candace and C for Can't have, lol... OK I'll stop.. anyways, you may be asking yourself why cant she have these? Even on occasion? Well it's a long story but to spare you the yawn I'll keep it short.

Months ago I was in what I was in a state of "ignorant bliss". I was nursing my daughter, running a full time event planning business I own and holding down the "events" happening in my home - scheduled and unscheduled - not excluding poop and kitchen clean up detail. I also was eating HORRIBLY! Now those of you moms who nursed your children know that not eating well while nursing is a cardinal sin. Well in spite of this knowledge that I" had" but wasn't "applying for wisdom" I was continuing to tax my body on a DAILY basis. Eating whatever I could get my hands on - cheeseburgers, chicken, chocolate - sometimes 3 bars in a day - yes I know WOW - that's a lot and everything in between. This picture at right was me - on a daily basis lol. I can laugh now but it wasn't funny then.

Now I had "changed my diet" years before to all organic however it wasn't quality that was my problem it was quantity. I had (yeah right, have) a portion control problem. I would be walking around with headaches because I wasn't eating enough and a sugar - I mean chocolate bar was just enough to give me the "fix" I needed for my headaches and to "keep" me going. Little did I know....

This continued for months until the week of my daughter's second birthday. I'll never forget it. I come home late after a meeting with another bride, the house was a mess and there was no food left out for my by the hubs. I silently cursed him, lol, and proceeded to the fridge to see what I could find. Organic milk and cereal was the only option - but something told me that the milk had been sitting in the fridge a little too long. In spite of this, I proceeded to eat & drink because "I was nursing" and didn't want to go to bed hungry. * Side note - If I had been in my "right" mind I wouldn't have even touched questionable milk for that very reason. * Anyways, I ate and drank and was not merry. As I was wrapping gifts for her birthday party, at mind you 11:30 at night, I started to feel sweaty and "weird". I stood up and the room began to spin - ran into the bedroom - for a last chance attempt to feel better by lying down and it only got worse. I felt as if I was losing my mind. Long story short, I was extremely sick and after the first 2 weeks wasn't getting better - here I am 8 months later and much still hasn't changed. No matter how many emergency room, hospital and doctors visits I've had. I don't know if i will ever wake up to be the same woman I once was physically. Caring for my lil' peanut is no easier either - hence the extreme importance of my "ME time".

Why do I tell you this? Because I want every mom to not have to suffer like I am. I want you all to know that living - while hanging on by a thread- is not living at all - it is existing. I want all the moms I come into contact with to know how valuable it is for them to care for themselves just as much as everyone else they look after. Most of all, I want all of us to feel fabulous and wonderful not just on the outside but most certainly on the inside. Where it matters most. That said, it is important for you to take care of yourself when it comes to your diet and beware if you don't control yourself now, some circumstance may end up controlling not just your diet but all of you, your health and ultimately your life. Resolve in your heart & mind to eat healthier not just for you but the little versions of you running around your home. Don't beat yourself up but don't lose control either - you can indulge and enjoy it. As a matter of fact enjoy it for me! You'll truly look and FEEL fabulous in the end.

Just a thought....


2 comments:

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

Wow. So they don't know what is wrong? I hope things can turn around for you and I agree it is important to take care of ourselves. I need to heed your advice.

Candace Sheppard said...

No they don't but I'm holding on to hope until someone who is qualified to tell me what's going on comes along. But God's got me and yes please take care of yourself for Mekhi's sake!;)You're worth it!